Groomsmen Speech: How to Write One, With Examples (Solo and Joint)

A groomsmen speech is the short, warm one. You're not the best man, nobody is expecting a five-minute set, and that's exactly why the best groomsmen speeches land so well. One minute of something true about the groom, a kind word for the couple and a clean toast will get a bigger reaction than you'd believe.

This guide is for the groomsman asked to say a few words, for two or three groomsmen sharing the microphone, and for anyone raising a glass at the rehearsal dinner, the stag or the Friday-night braai. You'll find when to speak, how long to go, how a joint speech works, a template, three full examples and toast lines.

If you're the best man, you want our best man speech guide instead. This one is about the supporting cast.

Does a Groomsman Give a Speech at All?

Not automatically. At most South African weddings the formal speeches belong to a father or parent, the groom, the best man and, more and more often, a maid of honour. A groomsman speaks when the couple asks for it. That usually happens in one of these situations.

• There's no single best man. The groom has three brothers or a tight group of friends and didn't want to pick one, so the groomsmen share the slot.
• The best man can't do it. Nerves, a language barrier, or the best man is the groom's young son.
• A brother wants a moment. The best man is a friend, and the family would love the groom's brother to say a few words too.
• The less formal events. The rehearsal dinner, the stag or the welcome braai. This is where groomsman toasts really live.

Check before you write a word

Ask the groom directly, then ask the MC. At South African receptions the MC usually runs the programme and slots speeches between courses, so they need to know you exist. Ask three questions.

1. Am I speaking at the reception, at another event, or just raising a toast if the moment comes?
2. How long do I have, and am I before or after the best man?
3. What is the best man covering, so I don't tell the same story?

Then message the best man. Swap your story ideas in a two-line text. Nothing deflates a room faster than hearing the Ballito road-trip story twice in one evening. Our guide to the duties of the best man shows what else is on his plate.

How Long Should a Groomsmen Speech Be?

Shorter than you think. Here's a sensible guide.

The joint speech is the one that runs away from people. Three friends each planning "about two minutes" end up at nine, because every handover costs time. Set a total and divide it.

How to Structure a Groomsman Speech

Three parts. Keep it lean.

1. Who you are (one or two sentences). Your name and how you know the groom. "I'm Sizwe, I've been in Andile's corner since Grade 8 rugby trials."
2. One true thing (most of your time). One story or one specific quality, with a detail people can picture. Then bring the bride, or partner, into it with a sentence of genuine warmth.
3. The toast (one sentence). Ask people to raise their glasses and name the couple.

Leave the formal thank-yous alone. The groom handles parents, hosts and suppliers, and our guide to the groom's speech shows how.

How a Joint Groomsmen Speech Works

A joint speech can be the highlight of the night or a shambles. Great groomsmen speeches given as a group feel like one speech with several voices, not three speeches queued up.

Give each person a job

Split by role, not by "everyone tells a story". For three people, this works.

• The opener introduces the group, explains why there are three of you, and gets the first laugh.
• The storyteller carries the main story, the one piece of real material.
• The closer turns sincere, speaks to the bride and leads the toast. Give this to the calmest person, or to the brother.

With two people, combine the opener and storyteller, and let the second person do the sincere part and the toast.

Script the handovers

Write the handover lines into the speech. "And that's where Jaco comes in, because he was driving" moves the speech along. Three men muttering "you go" does not. One sentence, said while the next person steps forward.

Practical rules for avoiding chaos

• One person holds the cue cards for the whole speech, or each person has only their own part, printed large.
• Ask the DJ for two microphones, or agree that the mic passes once per handover and nobody grabs it back.
• Rehearse together at least twice, out loud and timed.
• No ad-libbing at each other. Banter that kills at the braai rarely works for 150 guests.
• One drink before, not three each. That's how joint speeches fall apart.

Groomsmen Speech Template

Fill in the brackets, read it aloud and rewrite anything that doesn't sound like you. This lands at about two minutes.

Good evening, everyone. I'm [name], one of [groom]'s groomsmen. We met [how and when you met], and he's been [the friend who / the brother who] ever since.

If you want to understand [groom], you need to know about [one specific moment]. [Two to four sentences of the story: the setup, what happened, what he did.] That's him. [One sentence naming the quality the story shows.]

[Bride], I noticed something change in him when you came along. [One specific sign, e.g. "He started arriving early." or "He talks about the future now, not just Saturday."] Thank you for that.

So please raise your glasses. To [bride] and [groom]. [Short wish.] Cheers!

For a joint speech, split the template by role. The opener takes the first paragraph and adds why there are several of you. The storyteller takes the second. The closer takes the last two.

Groomsmen Speech Examples

Here are three groomsmen speech examples, written fresh for South African weddings. Borrow the shape, then put your own people in.

Example 1: A solo groomsman (about two minutes)

Nikhil is a groomsman at his university friend Wesley's wedding to Naledi in Pretoria. The best man is Wesley's brother, so Nikhil has been asked for a short speech before him.

Good evening, everyone. I'm Nikhil. Wesley and I shared a flat in Hatfield for three years, which means I've seen him at his best, at his worst, and at seven in the morning trying to iron a shirt with a pot of boiling water.

I'm keeping this short, because his brother is up next and he has the childhood photos. So I'll tell you one thing about Wesley.

In our second year I failed a module I needed to graduate. I didn't tell anyone. Wesley worked it out anyway, because he notices things. He didn't make a speech about it. He just put a timetable on the fridge, and every Tuesday and Thursday for a whole semester he sat at the kitchen table with me until ten at night, eating two-minute noodles and quizzing me from my notes. In a subject he wasn't even taking. I passed. He took me for a Wimpy breakfast to celebrate and refused to let me pay.

That's Wesley. He turns up, he doesn't keep score and he never mentions it again.

Naledi, he talks about you the way he used to talk about Springbok test matches, with total belief and slightly too much detail. I'm glad he found someone who notices things too.

Please raise your glasses. To Naledi and Wesley. May your kitchen table always have room for one more. Cheers!

Example 2: A joint speech by three groomsmen (about three minutes)

Bongani, Jaco and Yusuf are speaking together at Andile's wedding to Megan in the Midlands. Andile didn't want to choose one best man, so the three share the slot.

Bongani: Good evening, everyone. You're probably wondering why three of us are up here. Andile was asked to pick one best man. He thought about it for a month, then did what he always does with a hard decision. He asked Megan. She said, "All three. Then nobody sulks." So here we are. I'm Bongani, I've known Andile since we were six in Pietermaritzburg. That's Jaco, who met him at work, and Yusuf, who met him at five-a-side and has regretted it ever since. Jaco, tell them about the trip.

Jaco: Thanks, Bongs. Two years ago the four of us drove up to the Drakensberg for a hike. Andile planned it. He had a spreadsheet, a laminated map and snacks labelled by day. What he did not have was the car keys, which he'd locked in the boot at the trailhead, with everything else. We waited three hours for a locksmith from Bergville. And for three hours Andile kept us laughing, made friends with two Dutch tourists, borrowed a guitar and taught them half a song. By the time the locksmith arrived, the tourists didn't want to leave. That's the thing about Andile. Even his disasters turn into parties. Yusuf, you knew him better by then.

Yusuf: I did. And here's what I noticed on that trip. Every second sentence was Megan. What Megan would think of the view. Whether Megan would ever let him live down the keys. She has not, by the way. Megan, the three of us have watched you make our friend steadier and happier, and somehow even more organised. You make him better and you make our group bigger. We're grateful.

All three: So please stand and raise your glasses.

Yusuf: To Megan and Andile. May every road trip be a good story, and may you always remember the keys.

All three: Cheers!

Bongani explains the set-up, Jaco carries the one story and Yusuf turns it sincere. Each handover is a single line.

Example 3: A short groomsmen toast at the rehearsal dinner or braai (under one minute)

Dewald raises a glass at the welcome braai the night before his friend Siyabonga's wedding to Ayanda.

Can I have everyone's attention for one minute, before the boerewors goes cold? I'm Dewald. Siya and I have been at the same braai fire every December for ten years, and every year he insists he's in charge of the meat and every year Ayanda quietly rescues it. That's not a joke. That's a partnership. Tomorrow it becomes official. So, to Siya and Ayanda. To many more fires, many more Decembers, and to whoever's really holding the tongs. Cheers!

Groomsmen Toast Lines

A good groomsmen toast line is short, warm and easy to say while looking at the couple. Pick one, adapt it and learn it by heart.

• "To [bride] and [groom]. May your adventures be long and your arguments short."
• "On behalf of all the groomsmen, to the couple who made us wear matching socks. Worth it."
• "To the man who always shows up, and the woman who taught him to show up on time."
• "May your home always smell of a good braai and sound like a full table."
• "To friendship that became family. To [bride] and [groom]."
• "We've stood next to him for years. Today we're proud to stand behind you both. Cheers!"

For clean jokes to slot in, our list of jokes and one-liners for a wedding speech or toast has plenty that won't make Ouma blush.

A groomsmen thank you speech

Sometimes the groomsmen are asked for a quick thank you instead, to the couple for including them or to the hosts at the rehearsal dinner. Keep it to three sentences. "Andile, Megan, thank you for letting us be part of this. We'll remember standing up there with you for the rest of our lives. To the two of you." If the groomsmen have chipped in for a gift for the groom, this is the moment to hand it over. Our round-up of groomsmen gifts covers the other direction, from groom to groomsmen.

What to Avoid in a Groomsmen Speech

• Stealing the best man's material. Swap stories in advance. If you overlap, you lose.
• Stag stories. What happened in Clarens is not reception content. Grandparents are listening.
• Exes, crude jokes and innuendo. They never land with the whole room.
• Group in-jokes. A joint speech is especially prone to "you had to be there" moments. Test every line on someone outside the group.
• Teasing the bride. The groom can take a gentle ribbing. The bride gets warmth only.
• Going long. Being the shorter speech is your advantage. Don't give it away.

If you're nervous about the microphone itself, read our tips on how to deliver a great wedding speech. Our wedding do's and don'ts for the groom are worth a read for the whole party too.

A Few Words on Language and Family

Plenty of South African weddings move between English, Afrikaans, isiZulu, isiXhosa or Sesotho in one evening. A greeting or toast in the family's home language, practised with someone who speaks it, is a lovely touch. Keep the rest in the language most guests share, in short sentences.

Some families also have their own order of speakers, with elders or uncles first. Your MC will know. If your slot shrinks on the night, cut to your one story and the toast. Nobody will know what you left out.

The best groomsmen speech is the one that sounds like you, says one true thing about your friend and gets everyone's glass in the air before the dessert arrives.