Best Man Speech: How to Write One, With Examples and a Template

A great best man speech is three to five minutes long, tells one or two true stories about the groom, turns sincere near the end and finishes with a clean toast to the couple. That's the whole job. Most of the speeches that go wrong at South African weddings do so because they ignore one of those four things, usually the first one.

This guide gives you everything you need to write yours this week. You'll find the quick answers first, then a tight structure, a fill-in-the-blanks best man speech template, and three complete best man speech examples you can borrow the shape of. One is for a brother, one is for a best friend and one is a short speech that runs under two minutes. After that come opening lines, toast lines, what to leave out and how to get through it without your hands shaking.

If you're still working out the rest of the role (the rings, the stag, getting the groom to the venue on time), our guide to the duties of the best man covers everything that happens off the microphone.

Best Man Speech: The Quick Answers

• How long should a best man speech be? Three to five minutes. That's roughly 400 to 700 words spoken at a relaxed pace. Under three feels rushed. Over five and the kitchen starts glancing at the clock because the mains are going cold.
• When do you speak? It depends on the couple and the MC. At many South African receptions the MC runs the programme and slots speeches between courses, often after the starter or between mains and dessert. The classic order is father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man. Plenty of couples swap that around so the groom speaks last, or add a maid of honour, a mother or a brother. Ask the MC for the running sheet and you'll know exactly where you stand.
• What's the shape? Introduce yourself, tell a story or two about the groom, bring the bride into it, turn sincere, then toast. Four parts. That's it.
• Who do you toast? Usually the newlyweds. Some families also expect you to thank the bridesmaids on the groom's behalf. Check with the couple.

How to Structure a Good Best Man Speech

Every good best man speech follows the same skeleton. Guests always know roughly where you are, which relaxes them, and a relaxed room laughs more easily.

1. The opener (about 30 seconds)

Say who you are and how you know the groom. Thank the couple for asking you, and thank the hosts if it suits the family. One light line is plenty. Your first job here is to settle your own breathing and get the room on your side.

2. The stories (about 2 minutes)

This is the heart of the funny part. Pick one or two specific stories that show who the groom actually is. Specific always beats general. "He's a loyal guy" is forgettable. The time he drove from Polokwane to Pretoria at midnight to jump-start your car, then made you buy him a pie at the Engen as payment, is not. A good story has a setup, a small twist and a payoff that says something kind about him.

3. The turn (about 1 minute)

Somewhere past the halfway mark, shift gear. Talk about the bride and what changed in the groom when she arrived. Speak to her directly for a sentence or two. Don't rush this bit, because it's what the grandparents will remember.

4. The toast (about 20 seconds)

Signal the end clearly, ask guests to stand and raise their glasses, and name the couple. A short, warm sentence beats a borrowed quote almost every time.

Best Man Speech Template (Fill in the Blanks)

Use this as scaffolding. Swap the bracketed bits for your own details, then read it aloud and rewrite anything that doesn't sound like you. Copy the rhythm, not the wording.

Good evening, everyone. For those who don't know me, I'm [your name], and I've known [groom] for [number] years, ever since [how you met]. [Groom], [bride], thank you for asking me to stand next to you today. It's an honour, and also slightly terrifying.

When I think about [groom], one word comes to mind, and that word is [one word, e.g. "reliable", "chaotic", "loyal"]. Let me explain. [Story one: the setup, what went wrong, how he handled it.] And that, ladies and gentlemen, is [groom] in a nutshell.

[Optional story two, shorter, ideally showing a softer side of him.]

Then [year], he met [bride]. I knew it was serious when [specific sign, e.g. "he started ironing his shirts" or "he cancelled the boys' braai to drive to her folks in Kimberley"]. [Bride], you've made my friend [kinder, calmer, happier, better dressed]. We're all grateful, especially his mother.

[Sincere line about the two of them together, something you've actually seen.]

So please, will you all stand and raise your glasses. To [bride] and [groom]. [Short wish, e.g. "May your house always be full of laughter and your braai fire never run out of wood."] To the bride and groom!

That template lands at about three and a half minutes once your stories are in. If you need jokes to drop into it, our list of jokes and one-liners for your wedding speech has plenty of clean ones.

Best Man Speech Examples

Here are three complete best man speech examples, written fresh for South African weddings. Read them for structure and pacing, then fill the gaps with your own people and places. Lifted word for word, they'll sound like exactly what they are.

Example 1: Best man speech for a brother

Ravi is speaking at his younger brother Kiran's wedding to Anisha in Durban. About four minutes.

Good evening, everyone. I'm Ravi, Kiran's older brother. Which means I've known him longer than anyone in this room except Mum and Dad, and I have the photographs to prove it.

Growing up in Chatsworth, Kiran was the kind of little brother who followed you everywhere. If I played cricket in the road, he was fielding. If I went to the shop, he was coming too. If I got into trouble, he was the witness who told Mum everything before I got home. He was six. He had no loyalty at all. I've forgiven him. Mostly.

Then something changed. Kiran grew up into the person everyone calls first. When Dad was in hospital three years ago, I was stuck in Joburg for work. Kiran was there every single evening, after a full day, with food from Mum and the cricket scores ready on his phone. He never once mentioned it. I'm mentioning it now, because he deserves to hear it in front of everyone.

Now, Anisha. Kiran brought her home for Sunday lunch the first time and he was more nervous than he was for his matric exams. He asked me beforehand, very seriously, whether he should wear a collared shirt. To lunch. At his own parents' house. That's when I knew.

Anisha, you've made him calmer, happier and, I'm told, better at answering his phone. Our family has always said you can judge a person by how they treat Mum's cooking. You asked for the recipe for her mutton curry on your second visit. You were in from that moment.

Kiran, I used to be the one you followed around. Today I'm the one standing behind you, and I couldn't be prouder.

So please, everybody, stand and raise your glasses. To Kiran and Anisha. May your home be full of good food and loud family, and may you always save each other a seat. To the bride and groom!

Example 2: Best man speech for a best friend

Thabo is speaking at his best friend Pieter's wedding to Lerato on a farm outside Stellenbosch. About four and a half minutes.

Goeienaand, good evening, dumelang. My name is Thabo, and I've been Pieter's friend since our first week in res, when he knocked on my door at eleven at night to borrow a kettle. He kept that kettle for two years. I'm only mentioning it because Lerato has a toaster, and I think she should keep an eye on it.

Pieter and I were the two least likely friends in the building. He grew up on a sheep farm near Graaff-Reinet. I grew up in Soweto. He thought pap was a side dish. I thought a braai lasted two hours. We were both wrong, and we've spent fifteen years correcting each other.

The story that tells you who Pieter is happened on a road trip to Durban after exams. Somewhere past Harrismith his old Corolla made a noise like a tin of marbles, and we coasted onto the shoulder in the dark. I was ready to phone my mother. Pieter got out, opened the bonnet, looked at the engine for a long time, and said, "Right. I have no idea what that is." Then he walked two kilometres to a farmhouse, came back with the farmer, the farmer's son, a tow rope and a flask of coffee. By sunrise we were having breakfast with the family, and he'd been invited back for the shearing season. That's Pieter. He doesn't always know the answer. He always knows how to find the people who do.

And then he found Lerato. I'll never forget the first time he told me about her. He said, "She's cleverer than me, she's funnier than me, and she supports the Bulls, but I'm willing to work through that." A true romantic.

Lerato, I've watched my friend become a better version of himself since you arrived. He listens more. He plans ahead. He returned a kettle, unprompted, just last year. Whatever you're doing, please keep doing it.

Today two families who live a long way apart, in more ways than distance, are sitting at the same tables. That's what the two of you do. You bring people together.

Please stand and raise your glasses. To Pieter and Lerato. May the road be long, the car be reliable, and may you always find your way home together. To the bride and groom!

Example 3: A short best man speech (under two minutes)

Liam is speaking at his friend Zola's wedding to Ayesha in Cape Town. Under two minutes, about 220 words. Ideal if the programme is tight or you're nervous.

Good evening, everyone. I'm Liam, and Zola and I have played in the same Saturday five-a-side team for eight years. In that time we've won exactly one trophy, and Zola scored an own goal in the final. We still won. He still talks about it like he was man of the match.

That tells you most of what you need to know about him. He's an optimist, he never sulks, and he makes everyone around him feel like a winner, even when the scoreboard says otherwise.

Ayesha, the first time you came to watch a game, Zola played the best football of his life. We've been asking you to come every week since. You make him better. It's that simple.

I won't keep you from the dance floor. Please stand and raise your glasses. To Zola and Ayesha. May your life together be one long winning season. To the bride and groom!

A short best man speech isn't a lesser one. Done well, one story plus one sincere line plus a toast will get a bigger reaction than seven minutes of filler.

Opening Lines and Toasts That Work

Openers and closers are where nerves hit hardest, so it's worth having a few ready. Tweak these until they sound like you.

Opening lines

• "Good evening, everyone. I'm [name]. I've known [groom] for twenty years, and I've been preparing for this moment for about twenty minutes."
• "For those who don't know me, I'm the best man. For those who do know me, I'm also surprised."
• "[Groom] asked me to keep this short, clean and kind. I'll do my best with two of the three."
• "I've been told I have five minutes. Which is good, because [groom] has given me about forty minutes of material I'm not allowed to use."
• "Before I start, a quick thank you to [hosts] for a stunning day, and to the kitchen, because I'm standing between you and dessert and I know it."

Toast lines

• "To [bride] and [groom]. May today be the worst day of your marriage, because every day after just gets better."
• "To the two people who make each other laugh the loudest. To the bride and groom."
• "May your love be like a good potjie. Slow, rich and better shared."
• "To a lifetime of good coffee, kind words and the last slice of cake. To [bride] and [groom]."
• "To love, to laughter and to happily ever after. Please raise your glasses to the newlyweds."

What to Leave Out of a Best Man Speech

A funny best man speech is a gift. A cruel one is a story the family tells for the wrong reasons. The test is simple. If the bride's grandmother, the groom's boss or a ten-year-old cousin would wince, cut it.

• Exes. Never mention them, not even as a "you've come a long way" joke. It always lands badly with someone.
• Drinking stories. The stag weekend in Clarens stays in Clarens. So do the varsity nights. "He's mellowed since then" is as far as you go.
• Crude jokes and innuendo. They get one loud laugh from the boys' table and a cold silence everywhere else.
• In-jokes. If a story needs "you had to be there", leave it there. Two hundred guests should understand every line.
• Anything that embarrasses the bride. You're welcome to tease the groom gently. The bride is off limits, apart from praise.
• Money, religion, politics and family feuds. Especially when two families are meeting properly for the first time.
• Reading jokes off the internet. Someone else at the table will have seen the same list.

When in doubt, run your draft past the groom or a sibling a week before. It's much better to lose a joke in your lounge than in front of the in-laws.

Nerves and Delivery Tips

Nearly every best man is nervous, and the room is kinder than you think. They want you to do well. A few habits make a big difference.

• Rehearse out loud, with a timer. At least five times. Nerves tend to make people rush, so if you clock four minutes at home, you'll probably get through it faster on the night. Slow down deliberately.
• Use cue cards or a big-font printout. Not your phone, which locks, glares and buzzes at the worst moment.
• Pause after the laughs. Let them finish. Talking over your best line wastes it.
• Look up. Find a few friendly faces in different parts of the room and speak to them.
• Drink after, not before. One drink for courage is plenty. The toast glass doesn't count until you've raised it.
• Check the microphone with the MC or DJ before guests sit down, and hold it close to your chin.
• If a joke flops, keep going. Don't explain it and don't apologise. Nobody remembers the flop unless you point at it.

For more on breathing, body language and handling a microphone, see our guide on how to deliver a great wedding speech.

Working With the Other Speakers

Talk to the groom, the other speakers and the MC about a month out. You want to know who's speaking, in what order and roughly what they're covering, so you're not the third person that evening to tell the "how they met" story. The groom will usually handle the formal thank-yous to parents and suppliers, so you don't need to repeat them. Our guide to the groom's speech shows what he's likely to cover.

If there are several groomsmen, decide who's speaking. Sometimes a brother and a best friend share the slot, or a groomsman says a few words before the best man closes. Our guide to the groomsmen speech covers how to split it without overlapping. If you're curious how the father's speech fits with yours, the father of the bride's speech guide explains his role.

A Note for Afrikaans and Bilingual Families

Many South African weddings move between two or three languages in one evening, and a best man speech that honours that goes down beautifully. You don't need to be fluent. A greeting or a toast in the family's home language, practised properly beforehand, shows real respect. Keep the main stories in the language most guests understand, and keep the sentences short so the meaning carries even for those listening in their second language.

If you're speaking at an Afrikaans wedding and want the whole speech in Afrikaans, read our Afrikaans guide to the beste man toespraak. It has its own structure and example lines. For how speeches usually run at Afrikaans receptions, see toesprake by 'n troue.

Your Last-Week Checklist

1. Final draft written and timed at three to five minutes.
2. Read through by the groom or someone close to him.
3. Names checked and pronunciations practised, especially in-laws and grandparents.
4. Cue cards printed and packed with the rings.
5. Running order confirmed with the MC, including what course you're speaking after.
6. Toast line memorised so you can deliver it looking at the couple, not the card.

Nobody remembers a best man speech for being perfect. They remember it for being warm, clearly written by someone who loves the groom, and short enough that they wanted a little more. Keep it specific, keep it kind and look up when you raise your glass.